When the songbird sings

Anabell’s Kitten at 8 Weeks by endbradley

I’ve been thinking of either adopting or buying a cat. Thanks to the curious incidence of the smelly dog last year, I have become a cat person. And because the apartment which I share with two other women is too small, there is not doubt that the perfect fourth member of our household will be a cat. I like cats–they’re low maintenance, smart, won’t stink up the apartment if properly litter trained, and can help prevent the proliferation of rodents and roaches which I notice have been frequently paying our unit a visit lately.

Notwithstanding the host of pusakals that have made our apartment building their home, I still want my own cat, so that leaves me with two options: buy one or get in touch with PAWS to check if they have a kitty for adoption. Whichever option I pursue will mean the cat will already have left a gaping hole in my pocket even before it becomes a formal member of our household. I never knew that the smallest feline costs thousands, and that does not even include vet, food, and grooming. Hmmm…maybe I should just really watch out for a baby pusakal (pusakalette?) in our compound then.

Pencil by Balakov

“To many school officials, Filipino teachers are ideal job candidates. The mostly female recruits speak English, hold advanced degrees and pass internationally recognized teaching exams. And they see the salaries offered here as small fortunes. But for all their enthusiasm and experience, they first have to learn how to manage unruly American students.

“In Prince George’s, the starting teacher’s salary is $43,481 — almost 10 times what the same teacher would make in the Philippines. Many Filipinos, like Mabel, can make much more here because of their years of experience. Salaries for someone with two decades of experience and a master’s degree can be more than $80,000.

“Perhaps most important, the teachers get a shot at becoming Americans. If they perform well for three years, the county will sponsor them for a green card, or permanent residency. It can take years for them to actually get the card and, later, citizenship, because of the government backlog. But theirs is a much easier path to the United States than that of many other immigrants. They don’t have to come here illegally or win a visa lottery. They just have to do their jobs.

“As life-changing decisions go, Mabel didn’t agonize that much. Going overseas for more money is common in the Philippines. About 10 percent of the country’s 89 million citizens live abroad, according to the Philippine Commission on Filipinos Overseas.”

–“Lessons Far from Home,” The Washington Post

So true.

I remember that occasion when I told someone that I liked Weezer, to cite an example of some of the musical genres that I enjoyed at the time, he almost had one his many hissy fits if only to show [off] how snob he could get with music. I still don’t get why some people like Sandwich, though. But then I guess cool is as unpretentious does. So let me get my geek on while watching this video which, as of this afternoon, gathered more than 4million views in less than a week.

OK, so this would have been more phenomenal if they didn’t include K-Fed. And where are Lonelygirl_15 and geriatric1927?

When The Winter’s Gone
(David Benoit)

Pardon me sir, I don’t know who you are.
But I think I see something in your eyes
Though I could be wrong.

Winter is here and all the roses lie deep beneath the snow
That’s where lovers go to hide from pain and sorrow.
Never for sure when your luck will turn
Waiting out that snowy day
Hope for a cure that someday you’ll learn
Why love keeps on going when there’s no one there.

Pardon me sir, I think it’s up from here.
Take this one from me, one day you’ll feel free to
Fly away wherever you want to.
Never can tell where the dawn will break
When you find your shoulder to cry on.
After a spell you won’t feel the ache
And you’ll forget the corner you’ve been living in so long.

You’ll breathe a sigh and see it’s time to move along
Just a little stronger when the winter’s gone.
When the winter’s gone.

I was still reeling with a rude treatment that I had to deal with lately when I came across this interesting post from Pick the Brain:

“…let rejection roll off your back. The key to this is not taking it personally.

“At least 95% of the time when a person reacts negatively to you it has absolutely nothing to do with you personally. Most likely they’re having a bad day or you caught them at the wrong moment. Maybe they’ve been harassed by people before and assume you have bad intentions. Or maybe they’re just not that cool and you wouldn’t gain much from knowing them anyways.”

Emphasis is mine. The last reason struck a chord simply because there are people who are just plain rude and crude, and associating with them will never be beneficial to you in any way. Let the rude treatment slide, but remember that there are other ways to get even, such as dissociation, indifference, or not patronizing their business (and if you care about your friends–tell them how bad the rude dude’s business’ service is). See, unless you have reached Steve Jobs’ mythical status, there is absolutely no reason to be a jerk.

I don’t think that I can come up with a more obvious description of what it’s like to grow up or be a grown-up aside from an enumeration of the typical things adults are expected to do, such as having a job, paying bills or being in-charge of one’s affairs. But beyond securing one’s physical well-being, maturity is an endless process of reassessing one’s place under the sun and asking a million and one questions whether the choices that one has made have been all worth it.

An article in New York Times points to the role that lost selves–”the person that you could have been”–play in the way personalities are molded, and presents an argument that “ruminating on paths not taken is an emotionally corrosive exercise.” A study by Laura A. King, a psychologist at the University of Missouri, shows that as well-adjusted adults grow older, they tend to incorporate more points of view in recollections of past decisions that were in one way or another caused them regrets.

In essence, looking back at a regretful event in one’s life and recalling not only the loss but, more importantly, also the lessons learned from the experience, is what a mature person usually does. You can cling to a sad event for all the world cares, but at some point, you need to learn a few valuable lessons, like your (and other people’s) role in that event and what you gained from it, and then move forward. You cannot blame yourself forever, too.

This brings to mind one of those movie lines from a rather non-sensical chick-flick: Life does not revolve around your little version of the universe.

That’s how people grow up.

Photo credit

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